By Terry Carter
Fox ran a story recently about Houston Texans All-Pro defensive end J.J. Watt and his search for a girlfriend.
Advice for this amazing athlete will likely run the gamut — and women are certain to look for a connection since he is GQ handsome by all standards. But J.J. does face a dilemma with his celebrity status and his annual income. Both attract a wide range of superficial and money-hungry types.
Both can look amazing in the right light… for a short time. However all of us default to our true selves once we have reached the goal we seek. In this case, it’s the hand of the talented and eligible J.J. Watt.
J.J. — Your options are many, and your quality choices may be minimal. First choice, are you ready to go the distance to find a mature — not old — quality girl with the right background, who can become your dream girl? If you are looking for a wife and say so, it won’t diminish the crowd of pretty girls ready to meet you.
But it would make your intentions clear. And perhaps the girls I refer to as lethal weapons won’t want to invest time and effort to win you to the dark side.
First take a self inventory. Besides rooms full of cash, what personal qualities, convictions and beliefs do you have that a future girlfriend should know about? One day the physique won’t be as intimidating. So rule that out to impress a girl in your mind. Are you loyal, funny, polite, kind, forgiving, generous? Those help in any situation, but be aware, those strengths can also be taken advantage of by a conniving person.
So know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses. I recommend keeping the weaknesses to yourself, but working on them consistently to make them strengths — just as you have as an athlete. Avoid weaknesses if you haven’t mastered them yet. For example, don’t walk through casinos if you have a tendency to bet.
Then make a long, detailed list of the female you want God to find for you. Keep in mind, God’s choice is his ideal for you to know and improve. She won’t be perfect — just amazing in the right ways.
She may never have attended a Texans game, but she loves football, for example. She cooks even better than you do at HEB. And she absolutely must be brave, smart and mature enough to deal with your stardom and a certain amount of confidence that comes with dating you. Otherwise she will soon be feeling left out of your busy life — and consequently make you feel horrible as a result.
Best advice? Volunteer in where good people congregate like churches, non-profits and go to events with friends. Your next serious girlfriend must be a friend first before the next step should be taken. And a celebrity with money, a bright future, good looks and morals/integrity is a rare indivdual indeed.
If you want to explore how a celebrity can marry just once and make it work for life, don’t waste your time talking to Snoop Dog and virtually anyone in Hollywood. Talk to people who have made it work under than media spotlight like Houston country musicians Clint Black and Lisa Hartman Black. In fact, country singers in general have a tendency to find lasting relationships.
I specialize in analyzing the psychological makeup of people. But the old mantra still works the best: Judge not a person on their kind words. Judge them based on their actions to understand their true heart and intentions. Actions always speak louder than words. And the contrast between the two reveals how honest and trustworthy that person truly is.
Best of luck, J.J. You appear to be a great guy. If an objective eye would help you in this endeavor, let me know.