HOW BAD IS HEARTBREAK?

By Terry Carter

When we are young, many of us think we are invincible. Then we suffer heartbreak and slowly begin to realize we are not quite bulletproof.

I remember being paralyzed while enduring a traumatic breakup years ago. It was among the lowest moments in my life. I felt helpless, always angry and desperate for a solution. Every day was a “Don’t bother me” nightmare.

If you are there now, know that time soothes most, but not all, pain. Lessons are learned from being in pain, particularly long-term pain like a lost love.

I once thought that my heartbreak would last forever. However I worked on my mindset, my vulnerability, my frustration and my healing until I was ready to test the dating world again. As with most painful events, personal determination to play the long game was the redeeming quality that helped the most.

That and God’s grace to ease my pain.

And somewhere around November 1984, I met a beautiful, petite blonde with a strong, spunky personality. She was kind, considerate and playful. She has changed my world for the better for about 33 years. Without the my future spouse taking my hand, I don’t think I would be where I am today.

She has been a huge blessing in so many ways.

Have we always been blessed with good fortune and amazing gifts from heaven? In the short term, the answer often appears to be no as people always disagree. We are all human after all.

But step back from my latest squabble with a human being, and I can see that Suzie is a lifetime blessing. She has managed to deal with me for three decades, and I have grown exponentially at certain times in mental and philosophical ways. So that can be hard to deal with.

Plus I began working out consistently and learning to run again after an injury some six years ago. Surgery, rehab, changing diets, diabetes, work schedules and 100 other things pull us in opposite directions.

Yet I love Suzie, and she still lets me take her to dinner. That’s pretty good when boredom, restlessness and worse are exceptionally common among a lot of people our age.

Houston Museum of Natural Science

For those of you hoping to keep your relations alive for the long term, cry when your loved one is sad. Cheer when they are happy. And share love every change you get (verbal approval or a hug or a sympathetic ear may be all they need for the moment).

Stay in moment and really try to hear what your loved one says to you. You likely don’t have all the answers, and you shouldn’t. But be willing to give 100 percent to search for the lost screwdriver or finger nail polish if you are asked. It makes an impression on the heart of the person you love the most.

I sincerely recommend you don’t take advantage of or manipulate your loved one as these things leave long-lasting emotional scars. That’s a Type-A or immature maneuver that sinks boats — and relationships — pretty quick.

I am a firm believer in hope, faith and prayer to solve the toughest problems — and to thank the Lord for his daily miracles. Recently meditation, which still gets curious looks from even friends, neighbors and my loving spouse, helps me to focus on what is truly important in life.

It is my way of discarding stress that accumulates daily and allows free radicals to damage our health, our best thinking and creativity.

While heartbreak cannot always avoided, I recommend that your prayers or meditation can often conclude by asking God to allow the Holy Spirit (aka fate) to rule the day for the greater good.

If a breakup today benefits you moving from LA to New York and eventually meeting the person you marry, don’t wait 10 years to say thank you for the breakup and the move. Try acknowledging God’s path even when its purpose is totally bewildering to you today.

By accepting life’s oddities as God’s move to benefit us or people we care about, the future can often look more worthwhile both today and in the future. What happens will happen. How you respond determines whether the happening was a victory or a defeat in your mind.

 

 

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TOP 10 LIST FROM MICHIGAN

By Terry Carter

Vacation hunters and travelers alike, be a Wolverine or a Spartan for while.

Michigan ranks as one of the best states to visit for a variety of reasons. The state has rugged outdoors for the hunters and perhaps the best fishing in the nation with all  of those Great Lakes. Technology also looms large in the Great Lakes’ State, as do trendsetters and deep historical roots.

Today I will provide my Top 10 Points of Interest in Michigan. They may or may not entice you to journey north and play in the Land of Great Lakes. Please keep in mind that this list is hybrid composite from my days as a child when I lived for six years in Western Michigan. Good times, but mountains of snow. Enough said.

  1. First the basic facts I learned in school: MICHIGAN became a state in Jaunary 1837, so Longhorns and Wolverines have that timeframe in common. What makes Michigan unique, however, is that they are the largest state east of the Mississippi River. Today Michigan ranks 10th in population and 11th in total area with a capital of Lansing. 
  2. Football and basketball are big sports in Michigan. Think of the University of Michigan Wolverines in Ann Arbor and Michrigan State Spartans in East Lansing. The Wolverines feature the largest college stadiums in the country, and it has been able to handle 107, 601 ticket holders for football games. Michigan also was the all-time, winningest college football team with more than 900 wins the last time I looked.
  3. Michigan features the Cherry Capital of the World in Traverse City. Check it out.
  4. The Cereal Capital in Kalamazoo where numerous companies make dozens of the most popular breakfast treats.
  5. Golf is diverse and world class in Michigan. I grew up in Western Michigan and thrived on numerous private and city golf courses. Among my favorites is Chase Hammond, a City of Muskegon layout with tree-lined fairways and fast greens. I should challenge my brother to reunite up there for a golfing reunion with some of our old golfing friends, including Paul.
  6. The Lakes of and throughout Michigan make it a heaven for fishermen and sportsmen. Don’t mess with the wolverine, but the fishing is pure and crazy good when the lakes are not frozen over.
  7. Weather in Michigan varies from perfect in the summer to near-Artic-Zone cold in the winter. I recall summer days with high temperatures in the low- to mid-80s and lows in the 50s. No A/C needed in that area. In the winter, however, Michigan continues to operate when Texans would be inside drinking hot chocolate because of an ice storm or temperatures below zero. The schools in Michigan probably still run busses and operate when temperatures fall to -10 or -20 degrees. They are a stubborn, resilient lot, much like Texas, but just with 5-6 layers on.
  8. Michigan features a unique little spot that as highlighted in the Christopher Reeves movie filmed on Mackinac Island. No motorized vehicles are allowed. You either walk or ride a bike up there. And the famous hotel that Reeves visited in Somewhere in Time is only open in the spring, summer and fall. They shut down during the brutal winter months.
  9. Need an escape from the world you know? Try Holland, Michigan, where wooden shoes for what is known as the Holland Festival. 
  10. Finally visit Michigan for the fun of it. Bring your golf club, your fishing pole. If you swing it, purchase a summer home up there for the hot summer months we endure here in Texas. Then in the winter, get back to Texas where the snow rarely invades.